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  • Buffalo Bills parallel universe in which Xavier is GM

    1 April 2014:
    -Xavier Cromartie replaces Doug Whaley as GM of the Buffalo Bills after the death of owner Ralph Wilson.
    -Leelee Phoenix is hired as assistant GM / cheerleading captain.
    -An Unbiased Computer replaces the entire scouting team.
    -Kevin Kelley of Pulaski Academy replaces former head coach Doug Moron.

    4 April 2014:
    -WR Mike Williams trade doesn't happen.

    1 May 2014:
    -QB Jeff Tuel, RB Boobie Dixon, P Brian Moorman released.
    -QB Ricky Stanzi acquired for 7th-round pick (237).
    -TE Rob Housler acquired for 6th-round pick (185).
    -QB Ryan Nassib acquired for 5th-round pick (153).
    -QB EJ Manuel traded to SF for 3rd-round pick (94).
    -RB CJ Spiller traded to WAS for 3rd-round pick (66).

    8 May 2014: THE DRAFT
    (1) 9. LB Ryan Shazier
    (2) 44. WR Cody Latimer
    (3) 66. DT Will Sutton
    (3) 73. DE Kareem Martin
    (3) 94. LB Kevin Pierre-Louis
    (4) 109. QB Tom Savage
    (5) 149. WR Michael Campanaro
    (7/UDFA?) RT Seantrel Henderson
    (UDFA) RB Zurlon Tipton
    (UDFA) DE Jackson Jeffcoat
    (UDFA) CB Greg Ducre
    (UDFA) OG Ryan Groy
    (UDFA) C Gabe Ikard
    (UDFA) C Tyler Larsen
    (UDFA) S Dewey McDonald
    (UDFA) DT Kerry Hyder
    (UDFA) DT Kelcy Quarles
    (UDFA) FB J.C. Copeland
    (UDFA) TE Blake Annen

    9 May 2014:
    Just like in the realistic hit film Draft Day, Xavier celebrates a legendary draft haul by cumming repeatedly inside of his female assistant.

    10 May 2014:
    -RB Bryce Brown acquired for 2015 4th-round pick.

    25 August 2014:
    -RB Ronnie Wingo is not waived.
    -QB Jordan Palmer is not signed.
    -P Jordan Gay is not signed.

    30 August 2014:
    -53-man depth chart
    (3) QB: Ricky Stanzi, Ryan Nassib, Tom Savage
    (4) RB: Bryce Brown, Fred Jackson, Ronnie Wingo, Zurlon Tipton
    (1) FB: J.C. Copeland
    (6) WR: Cody Latimer, Robert Woods, Marquise Goodwin, Michael Campanaro, T.J. Graham, Chris Hogan
    (4) TE: Rob Housler, Scott Chandler, Blake Annen, Chris Gragg
    (3) OT: Cordy Glenn, Seantrel Henderson, Erik Pears
    (3) OG: Kraig Urbik, Ryan Groy, Chris Williams
    (3) C: Eric Wood, Gabe Ikard, Tyler Larsen
    (5) DE: Mario Williams, Jerry Hughes, Manny Lawson, Kareem Martin, Jackson Jeffcoat
    (5) DT: Marcell Dareus, Kyle Williams, Will Sutton, Kerry Hyder, Kelcy Quarles
    (5) LB: Ryan Shazier, Brandon Spikes, Keith Rivers, Kevin Pierre-Louis, Nigel Bradham
    (6) CB: Stephon Gilmore, Leodis McKelvin, Greg Ducre, Corey Graham, Nickell Robey, Ron Brooks
    (4) S: Da'Norris Searcy, Aaron Williams, Duke Williams, Dewey McDonald
    (1) K: Dan Carpenter
    (0) P: .
    (0) LS: .

    7 September 2014: THE SEASON
    -The Bills shock the media by looking like a Patriots/49ers hybrid. They play smarter football than anyone. They lead the league in turnover margin and fourth-down conversions. RB Bryce Brown wins the league rushing title with 1700 yards. QB Ricky Stanzi completes 64% of his passes with a 95 QB rating. The team finishes 12-4 and takes the #2 seed in the AFC.

    11 January 2015: THE PLAYOFFS
    -The Bills host the #3 seed Indianapolis Colts. The Colts' easy schedule in 2014 made them appear better than they really were. The Bills defensive front overwhelms Luck and his poor offensive line.

    18 January 2015: AFC CHAMPIONSHIP
    -The #5 seed Patriots upset the #1 seed Broncos. The Bills host the Patriots. A star is born in this game as Ricky Stanzi is accepted by the media as 'the next Tom Brady.' A tight defensive struggle ends with a TD pass to 'his Gronk,' Rob Housler.

    1 February 2015: SUPER BOWL XLIX
    -Xavier Cromartie returns home to Glendale, Arizona. For two weeks, the media hype the fact that Cromartie once lived 2 minutes away from University of Phoenix Stadium. What a storybook ending to win the Super Bowl in that stadium. The Bills face the NFC Champion Philadelphia Eagles. Brilliant QB Nick Foles leads the Eagles to a shock early 14-0 lead. Bills fans begin to think 'not again.' But the Bills grind out two field goals and recover defensively. On the final drive, Stanzi completes two risky 4th-down passes before Cody Latimer hauls in a touchdown. A clever two-point conversion rush from Zurlon Tipton ties it. In overtime, Marquise Goodwin miraculously returns the kickoff for the winning TD.

    9 February 2015:
    -Villanova Cromartie is spawned out of the vagina of Leelee Phoenix. The three never return to Buffalo after the Super Bowl. Instead, they remain in Scottsdale, Arizona. And they never experience weltschmerz again.
    twitter.com/xaviercromartie

  • #2
    I was on board until Greg Ducre started at nickel.

    Comment


    • #3
      I don't fully subscribe to the No Punting belief that some analytic folks do. I understand the point, possession means significantly more than field position, and field position is grossly overstated by old football heads since the point of the game is scoring touchdowns. But, like, 4th and 10 from your 20, you should punt. I am genuinely excited about the first owner that demands his/her football team abandons stupid old football thinking, it will happen and they will win.

      We also need a few Al LaMacchias. Scouting remains necessary, it should be used with the proper statistics.

      I'm trying not to care about an irrelevant team's roster, but drafting any LB at 9 is horrible. I don't care if he ends up being Mike Singletary. I'd quit. The pick must be used for a QB when you don't have one, trade down if possible.

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by Leelee View Post
        I'm trying not to care about an irrelevant team's roster, but drafting any LB at 9 is horrible. I don't care if he ends up being Mike Singletary. I'd quit. The pick must be used for a QB when you don't have one, trade down if possible.
        Well you're fired as assistant GM. Why you're being dumb about drafting Shazier that high is baffling. You don't take a QB if there isn't one worth that pick. Who do you want, Derek Carr? Yeah right. We got Savage later anyway.

        Originally posted by Leelee View Post
        I don't fully subscribe to the No Punting belief that some analytic folks do. I understand the point, possession means significantly more than field position, and field position is grossly overstated by old football heads since the point of the game is scoring touchdowns. But, like, 4th and 10 from your 20, you should punt. I am genuinely excited about the first owner that demands his/her football team abandons stupid old football thinking, it will happen and they will win.
        The kicker is the punter. But we would try to avoid punting when possible.

        Originally posted by Leelee View Post
        We also need a few Al LaMacchias. Scouting remains necessary, it should be used with the proper statistics.
        The computer is the scout. The GM analyzes the computer's reports to make the proper decisions.
        twitter.com/xaviercromartie

        Comment


        • #5
          There isn't value in having a great LB. They make virtually no difference in games today. The Bills drafted very well with Kiko last year, what does it mean? Nothing (before the injury).

          Comment


          • #6
            The last thing the Skins need is an RB

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by Leelee View Post
              There isn't value in having a great LB. They make virtually no difference in games today. The Bills drafted very well with Kiko last year, what does it mean? Nothing (before the injury).
              I forgot that you have that issue where you think that the rules don't allow teams to defend passes anymore. Therefore Chad Henne should throw 50 times per game to the likes of Marqise Lee...

              We're not picking Shazier because we 'need' a LB. You're comparing a standard above-average LB, Kiko Alonso, to potentially the best LB prospect ever, Ryan Shazier. He's the 'Calvin Johnson' of LBs. No you don't take a LB like Kiko at 9. But Shazier may be the single best player in this draft.

              The NFL is just like WWE or Hollywood. Because of human biases, they are not looking for talent, they are looking for stars. John Cena is a star who has very little wrestling talent. But what matters is that the people in charge gave him the opportunity. Because of bias. They'll ignore his weaknesses because of the look, the story, the hope. Blake Bortles is a 'star,' so he'll get an opportunity (and fail). All the guys in my post... they're talents. We may never see it, because they may never get a 'push.'

              A perfect example is Nick Foles. The Eagles started Michael Vick and his career 56.2% completion percentage ahead of Nick Foles. We're talking about the team that thought highly enough of Foles to draft him. They didn't play Nick Foles until they were forced to in week 5. And the result was 27 TD passes and 2 interceptions. So is it really so absurd to think that the Jaguars have no idea what kind of talent they have in Ricky Stanzi? The Jaguars intentionally drafted Blaine Gabbert and Blake Bortles in the first round. And perhaps other teams are just as clueless when it comes to talent, because human bias gets in the way.
              Last edited by Xavier Cromartie; 08-28-2014, 11:13 AM.
              twitter.com/xaviercromartie

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by Xavier Cromartie View Post
                I forgot that you have that issue where you think that the rules don't allow teams to defend passes anymore. Therefore Chad Henne should throw 50 times per game to the likes of Marqise Lee...
                Pass defense still matters. Despite not being able to defend well thrown passes to good routes, there's still mistakes to take advantage of.

                We're not picking Shazier because we 'need' a LB. You're comparing a standard above-average LB, Kiko Alonso, to potentially the best LB prospect ever, Ryan Shazier. He's the 'Calvin Johnson' of LBs. No you don't take a LB like Kiko at 9. But Shazier may be the single best player in this draft.
                We're not going to agree here. Shazier wasn't even renowned for his pass defense at tOSU. His performance suggests he is the standard LB that collects a ton of tackles and can chase everyone down. He's great at that and should put up big numbers in PIT. Doesn't mean a damn thing for winning in the NFL today, probably won't equate to a single win over replacement player.

                The NFL is just like WWE or Hollywood. Because of human biases, they are not looking for talent, they are looking for stars. John Cena is a star who has very little wrestling talent. But what matters is that the people in charge gave him the opportunity. Because of bias. They'll ignore his weaknesses because of the look, the story, the hope. Blake Bortes is a 'star,' so he'll get an opportunity (and fail). All the guys in my post... they're talents. We may never see it, because they may never get a 'push.'

                A perfect example is Nick Foles. The Eagles started Michael Vick and his career 56.2% completion percentage ahead of Nick Foles. We're talking about the team that thought highly enough of Foles to draft him. They didn't play Nick Foles until they were forced to in week 5. And the result was 27 TD passes and 2 interceptions. So is it really so absurd to think that the Jaguars have no idea what kind of talent they have in Ricky Stanzi? The Jaguars intentionally drafted Blaine Gabbert and Blake Bortles in the first round. And perhaps other teams are just as clueless when it comes to talent, because human bias gets in the way.
                I like this point, and I totally agree. I cannot understand why teams do not have true QB competitions. I don't think it's absurd at all that many 3rd string QBs are actually the best on their teams, they'll just never get a look.

                But, you're assuming Stanzi is 'our guy' and settling on Tom Savage types. I'm using the 1st round pick on a QB I feel is superior. Every asset into improving the QB position when you don't have a proven good one.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by Leelee View Post
                  We're not going to agree here. Shazier wasn't even renowned for his pass defense at tOSU. His performance suggests he is the standard LB that collects a ton of tackles and can chase everyone down. He's great at that and should put up big numbers in PIT. Doesn't mean a damn thing for winning in the NFL today, probably won't equate to a single win over replacement player.
                  I understand your thought process on LBs. The days of needing 'thumpers' to stop the run are gone. Instead, you need to figure out ways to stop teams that have super-athletes catching the ball (Jimmy Graham, Calvin Johnson, Julius Thomas, etc). The reason that the game has seemingly shifted to become a 'passing league' is that the defense hasn't kept pace with these new offensive superweapons.

                  What I'm telling you with Shazier is that he is exactly the kind of defensive superathlete LB that is needed to neutralize these offensive juggernauts. 4.38 40, 6.91 3-cone, 42" vertical, 25 bench reps. How does this guy not transform a defense? You have him shadow whoever is the opposing team's most dangerous weapon. RB, TE, even WR. He's faster and more agile than most WRs. Strong enough to handle TEs. Special teams ace because he's faster than everyone else. You're telling me this guy means nothing??

                  If you're still completely unwilling to accept any LB at 9, my next choice would be DT Aaron Donald.

                  Originally posted by Leelee View Post
                  I like this point, and I totally agree. I cannot understand why teams do not have true QB competitions. I don't think it's absurd at all that many 3rd string QBs are actually the best on their teams, they'll just never get a look. But, you're assuming Stanzi is 'our guy' and settling on Tom Savage types. I'm using the 1st round pick on a QB I feel is superior. Every asset into improving the QB position when you don't have a proven good one.
                  I should have made more clear earlier that I do not think we are 'settling' with Tom Savage. My top 3 QBs in the class are 1a. Garoppolo, 1b. Savage, 3. Bridgewater. I'm not willing to spend a 1st on Bridgewater. And then why spend a 2nd on Garoppolo when I can get Savage in the 4th? I don't understand which QB you're targeting in 1. I don't want Bortles/Manziel/Carr.
                  twitter.com/xaviercromartie

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    I would have taken Garoppolo, Bridgewater or Manziel in Round 1. I probably would have traded down to 15-30, later end for Garoppolo who I'm very high on. Savage blows.

                    Shazier isn't that type of LB, though. He has the athleticism, but he needs to learn cover skills. Many LBs are in that group. I would rather use safety/larger CBs to cover TEs anyway.

                    And let's trade Spikes for a late round pick. Get some scrub like Joe Mays to collect tackles for our 4+ YPC allowed defense that Our Hardworking Lunch Pail Work Pants Gritty Dirty Blue-Collar Local Community will hate.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by Leelee View Post
                      I would have taken Garoppolo, Bridgewater or Manziel in Round 1. I probably would have traded down to 15-30, later end for Garoppolo who I'm very high on. Savage blows.
                      Why does Savage blow? He is the strong/lightning-armed pocket passer that teams wish Bortles could be. He's in a situation where there's a good chance that we'll get to see what he can do.

                      Originally posted by Leelee View Post
                      And let's trade Spikes for a late round pick. Get some scrub like Joe Mays to collect tackles for our 4+ YPC allowed defense that Our Hardworking Lunch Pail Work Pants Gritty Dirty Blue-Collar Local Community will hate.
                      I see nothing can shake you from being a Shazier-hater. Spikes is the ultimate in run-thumping LBs though... legendary for his horrid 40 time. And has an attitude. Can be replaced easily. Ok with trading him.
                      twitter.com/xaviercromartie

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        While analytics is an important part of success, scouting is much more important. The best teams in the league recognize this and invest heavily into the scouting department.

                        Lot of draft stats (based on combine #s and such) are stupid because they are a lot of times reverse-engineered into predicting their "successful" players and aren't actually good stats.

                        -QB Ryan Nassib acquired for 5th-round pick (153).
                        -QB EJ Manuel traded to SF for 3rd-round pick (94).
                        -RB CJ Spiller traded to WAS for 3rd-round pick (66)
                        why would these teams do these trades.

                        potentially the best LB prospect ever, Ryan Shazier. He's the 'Calvin Johnson' of LBs
                        lol. The Calvin Johnson of LBs would be 6'4+ 250+ and runs a sub 4.5 and is basically perfect otherwise. Shazier is a good prospect but he still has a lot of holes in his game

                        I forgot that you have that issue where you think that the rules don't allow teams to defend passes anymore. Therefore Chad Henne should throw 50 times per game to the likes of Marqise Lee...
                        I think teams will start using a lot more zone (pattern reading/man coverage will be pretty much impossible) and emphasize pass rush even more because of the rules. Hopefully people complain enough to the point where Goodell changes it back (unlikely)

                        My top 3 QBs in the class are 1a. Garoppolo, 1b. Savage, 3. Bridgewater. I'm not willing to spend a 1st on Bridgewater. And then why spend a 2nd on Garoppolo when I can get Savage in the 4th?
                        Because they're not the same quarterbacks? You're acting like it's a guarantee that all three would be successful, and that it's just a matter of getting them at a good value. Most of the time there's usually just one or maybe two guys that are going to be good, and if you truly believe that, then you pick them with the first two picks

                        It's unleash the dragon time yall

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by RoflDogs View Post
                          While analytics is an important part of success, scouting is much more important. The best teams in the league recognize this and invest heavily into the scouting department. Lot of draft stats (based on combine #s and such) are stupid because they are a lot of times reverse-engineered into predicting their "successful" players and aren't actually good stats.
                          I hear the same basic stuff in the market. Fundamentals v technicals. I use technical analysis (math/science) for 100% of my decision making. I don't need to know anything about the company's products or employees or whatever. I don't want to know. All it does it create bias. Stuff like "Oh, I know him, he's a great guy. I'm sure the company will increase profits with him in charge." No, you need to be completely objective. Just show me the chart and let me analyze it.

                          For example, I have a friend who is a perma-bull for a little stock called MyEcheck ($MYEC). He's always talking up how it's going to make him rich in the future and tweeting stuff about the fundamentals of the company. I (someone who knows/cares nothing about MYEC) warned him that the chart was showing a crash coming. I even told him the exact price it was going down to (0.01).

                          Walter Football spouts off ****y opinions like he's never wrong, and Leelee falls over herself in love with him. I confidently make statements against the mainstream mania because I know that the scouting science backs me up, and what do I get for it? Just money, and success, and satisfaction. But not friends, nor admiration.
                          twitter.com/xaviercromartie

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            A player's projection into how he's going to be as a pro is in no way objective or can be looked at completely objectively. While stats and combine results give you an idea of what a player will be. It's only a fraction of everything.

                            It's unleash the dragon time yall

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by Leelee View Post
                              Manziel in Round 1.
                              Your own words: "If you're not abusing the league's rules that make DBs useless, your offense isn't what it could be." Now you want to intentionally take a rushing QB. (Jonathan Manziel, Esq. is not good as a pocket passer.)

                              Originally posted by RoflDogs View Post
                              is in no way objective
                              A head-and-shoulders topping pattern in the market is a very reliable indicator that a price crash is imminent, no matter how many bulls talk up fundamentals. Likewise, the data on Gabbert and Locker in 2011 showed a high likelihood of busting, flying in the face of what Mike Mayock's 'scouting eyeballs' saw. Sometimes the chart pattern is less clear, and likewise some players are more difficult (but still possible) to analyze. I'm aware that I can't predict a player's torn ACL or desire to share hits of ecstasy with Olga Phoenix.
                              twitter.com/xaviercromartie

                              Comment

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