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  • whatdoyouwant711
    started a topic Walterfootball Mafia Game Thread

    Walterfootball Mafia Game Thread

    After a long day of work posting on Walterfootball about Philadelphia sports and draft prospects, he drifts toward the X in the top left corner.

    That is, until he sees that the last post in a thread in which he had posted wasn’t him.

    He clicks on the link, the first of many mistakes.

    “lololol Kevin Kolb blows”

    “What the hell are you talking about? The guy’s Brady like in his progressions, accuracy, and footwork.”

    “lol stfu. Kolb is a little bitch and will suck wherever he’s traded”

    “Have you watched him play? Get a life dude”

    “trolololol vick sucks too trololol”

    “Can you at least elaborate? I haven’t a doubt in my mind that Vick was one of the best players in the league last season.”

    “can’t read a defense. Inaccurate. Injury prone. Kills dogs. Trolololol”

    “Can you criticize him for his play in Philadelphia last year, not his play in Atlanta? Or is that really too much to ask.”

    “trololol vick sucks kolb sucks vick sucks kolb sucks sixers are irrelevant Phillies are fags sixers are irrelevant Phillies are fags trolololol”

    He’s had enough. He throws his computer at the wall, smashing it in two.

    Even worse, replacing it won’t cost anywhere near as much as it will to replace the lost brain matter.

    Gone.

    Forever.

    Happily married, he moves on in life and never steps back on Walterfootball grounds.

    Whatdoyouwant711 is dead. He was Cutty, The Kolb-Slobber, Forum-Aligned

    Game Rules:
    1. Unless it says otherwise in your Role PM, you may NOT talk about the game outside of the Game Thread.
    2. Voting during the Day Phase will end once we get to a majority decision.
    3. In order to vote for someone to get lynched during the day, you must bold their name.
    4. The night phase will last exactly 24 hours. That means if you have a Night Ability, you have 24 hours to send in your PMs unless otherwise noted.
    5. No editing your posts in the game thread. Double, triple, quadruple, quintuple, etc. posting is fine.
    6. Chg91 and I reserve the right to mod kill for inactivity and forcefully end a lynch for inactivity.
    7. This isn't really a rule as much as a warning: Role claiming isn't against the rules, but some people's win condition may include having to specifically beat you, so check yourself before you wreck yourself.
    8. NO DEAD POSTING! Once you're dead, you're out of the Game Thread. Simple. You’re also out of the tag editing. As such, purposeful dead posting or tagging will be a temp ban, and penalties will be more severe if you post anything related to the game.
    9. Do not check the "Who's Online" list on this board at any time while you are playing the game.
    10. Do not post a screen shot of any PM related to the game.

    Originally posted by whatdoyouwant711 View Post
    NO EDITING POSTS. Neither Chg nor I saw the ninja-edit, so we can't punish him for it. But no more. If you have to cheat on a stupid online forum game, then you're a fucking fag.

    Leelee and other outsiders can post in here so long as it's not excessive and there's no game spoiling. Should the former become true, I expect mods to delete the posts, and should the latter become true, I expect the spoilers to receive a temporary ban.

    From now on, I'll be keeping a closer eye on the Who's Online list. There's a zero-tolerance policy for that infraction. Anyone seen checking the list will be automatically modkilled and flagged for future games.

    Multiple or egregious infractions of these rules may result in being blacklisted from all future Mafia games, and a suspension from the board.

    Player List:
    Italicized = Dead
    0. Whatdoyouwant711- Cutty, The Kolb-Slobber, Forum-Aligned
    1. JLash- Cicero, The Insomniac, Cherepinsky-Aligned
    2. Broncofan7- Hunter, Ohio's Pride and Joy, Forum-Aligned
    3. Nasmatic- Ckane138, The Authorizer, Forum-Aligned
    4. Vitor- Vbsiena, The Studmuffin, Cherepinsky-Aligned
    5. blue5213- Wraight36444, The Legislative Representative, Forum-Aligned
    6. Rednose- PaddyPatriot, The Forensic Investigator, Cherepinsky-Aligned
    7. Hyperborean- Rofldogs, Teenage Asian Ravens Homer, Forum-Aligned
    8. guru_92- miamidolphin4life, Super Hood Nigga, Forum-Aligned
    9. EllijayFalconsFan- InjuredReserve, The Dark Knight, Forum-Aligned
    10. Clovdyx- RoxOnlyFan, The Statistician, Forum-Aligned
    11. The Prodigy- El Guapo, The Governor, Forum-Aligned
    12. Carling- Mpg1995, The Pothead, Forum-Aligned
    13. Link- arhymemaster, The Internet Bully, Troll-Aligned
    14. Taylor091- vikingfan173, The Devout Christian, Forum-Aligned
    15. SanchoPanza- Joey Potter, Mr. Fantastic, Forum-Aligned
    16. PSUShenanigans- Matt McGuire, The Ban Hammer, Cherepinsky-Aligned
    17. SirApurrpos - Body Burner, Robin, Forum-Aligned
    18. Pheltzbahr- Arcade, The Flaming Homosexual, Rainbow-Aligned
    19. The Kaiser- Nasmatic, Rapist Redux, Independent-Aligned
    20. IBleedMidnightGreen - Charlie Campbell, The Scout, Forum-Aligned
    21. Sitisfit- SanchoPanza, PostWhoreHolinessSupreme, Fourm-Aligned
    22. SwAg Dynasty- Chg91, God of Mafia, Independent-Aligned[/i]
    23. NorthernCharge- phenomenal_waffles, The Virus, Troll-Aligned
    24. Ckane138- Alastair, The Doctor, Forum-Aligned
    25. Mdb17- Vikingsteve26, The Rapist, Independent-Aligned
    26. Cicero- Simonds, Jewboy, Forum-Aligned
    27. Miamidolphin4life- Walter, WF Overlord, Cherepinsky-Aligned
    28. Hunter- pheltzbahr, The Old Hag Conformist, Independent-Aligned
    29. Vikingfan173- Franchize, The Herb-Smasher, Troll-Aligned
    30. Egg Shen- The Deaner, Guy with a life, Forum-Aligned
    31. JoeLegend- Leelee, Queen Troll, Troll-Aligned
    32. Chicagojay - McNulty, The Frogerator, Forum-Aligned

    Reserve List
    1. PaddyPatriot
    2. Lukic

    Welcome to Walterfootball Mafia! You know the drill. If you have any questions regarding your Role PMs, or if you haven't received your PMs yet, then please PM Chg91 or me and let us know.

    Day One: MDFL- Morons dynamically fail lynch
    Night One: Ckane banned; Carling trolled; MD4L goes ninja; Site blacks out
    Day Two: Link dies, doesn't get his blowjob
    Night Two: Hunter gets his crap stolen, knee shot, leaves WF
    Day Three: The Emfrogger Strikes Back
    Night Three: Joe finally banned; little Nassy gets shanked
    Day Four: Hyper kicked out of WF, gets therapy
    Night Four: Cicero banned/concussed; IBMG hurt; A Legendary Revival
    Day Five: Vitor deported lulz
    Night Five: Taylor gets got, Sancho burns and IBMG gets violated... to death!
    Day Six: NorthernCharge is taken care of faster than you can take down some kiddie porn
    Night Six: Egg Shen finds something better to do
    Day Seven: mdb17 can't face his crippling social inabilities
    Night Seven: Falcons fan falls flat on his face
    Day Eight: Idiots
    Night Eight: Clowndicks loses his PFF job
    Day Nine: CJ Vetoed, Robin Exposed
    Night Nine: No one dies wooooooooo
    Day Ten: Site shut down for maintenance
    Night Ten: Nothing happened. Like, seriously. Nothing. Move along.
    Day Eleven: Not all frogs go to heaven in CJay's case
    Night Eleven: Another frog bites the dust
    Day Twelve: State of Emergency declared; Kaiser's lights turned out; VF and PSU ****ing trashed; JLash raped
    Night Twelve: No One Dies 2: Electric Boogaloo
    Day Thirteen: BF lynched... yawn...
    Night Thirteen: No One Dies 3: Return of the Jedi
    Day Fourteen: lol
    Night Fourteen: No One Dies 4: The Goblet of Fire
    Day Fifteen: O noez, someone wuz abuv roleclaiming
    Night Fifteen: No One Dies 5: You Only Live Twice
    Day Sixteen: Pheltz dies of old age
    Night Sixteen: No One Dies 6: Batman Begins
    Day Seventeen: Rednose does some things that just can't be done
    Night Seventeen: No One Dies 7: Rise of the Planet of the Apes
    Day Eighteen: Finally
    Night Eighteen: No One Dies 8: Jason Takes Manhattan
    Day Nineteen: Joe returns to the porn industry
    Night Nineteen: No One Dies 9: The Slippery Slope
    Day Twenty: Prodigy obviously drank his requisite amount of Cammy Cam Juice; Joe back on his grizzy
    Night Twenty: No One Dies 10: Nemesis
    Day Twenty-One Part I: Joe lynch fails
    Day Twenty-One Part II: Blue lynch succeeds
    End of Walterfootball as we know it

    IT IS NOW DAY ONE.

    WITH 32 STILL ALIVE, IT’S 17 TO LYNCH.

    GOOD LUCK.
    Last edited by whatdoyouwant711; 02-06-2012, 12:53 AM.

  • vikingfan
    replied
    Originally posted by SwAg Dynasty View Post
    .
    you only live because I ****ing say you can live

    Leave a comment:


  • pheltzbahr
    replied
    If it wasn't you guys, it was probably the black guy.

    Leave a comment:


  • SwAg Dynasty
    replied
    .

    Leave a comment:


  • vikingfan
    replied
    Originally posted by pheltzbahr View Post
    Who put the "pheltz = fag scum leader" tag early on? If that was you Cherepinskys, that was cheap, you bastards.
    early on I knew you were arcade yet could not care less

    Leave a comment:


  • Vitor
    replied
    Originally posted by PSUShenanigans View Post
    Wasn't me nor was it ever mentioned in the chat so I don't think it was one of us.
    Yeah, not me either.

    Leave a comment:


  • PSU
    replied
    Originally posted by pheltzbahr View Post
    Who put the "pheltz = fag scum leader" tag early on? If that was you Cherepinskys, that was cheap, you bastards.
    Wasn't me nor was it ever mentioned in the chat so I don't think it was one of us.

    Leave a comment:


  • pheltzbahr
    replied
    Who put the "pheltz = fag scum leader" tag early on? If that was you Cherepinskys, that was cheap, you bastards.

    Leave a comment:


  • SwAg Dynasty
    replied
    Originally posted by IBleedMidnightGreen View Post
    Days that I investigated people, and results:

    Night one;
    Nasmatic Scouting Report:

    -Walterfootball.com Moderator
    -17,000-18,000 posts
    -Joined in February 2009
    -Bay Area resident
    -Undergrad, statistics major
    -Coward

    Night 2:


    Night 3:


    You got lucky, for whatever reason, SwAg. See my night 5 investigation.

    Night 4:


    Night 5:


    You would have been very dead if I hadn't been raped to death. All in all, though, good game, SwAg. I honestly had a small hunch that you weren't town, but it wasn't anything that I had substance behind until I got the investigation result, which I couldn't share because I died.
    If you'd have killed me, the Town would have lost anyway because all of my suspicions were accurate... And since I was scum, they would all be discounted - thus sending you guys into a tailspin.

    Leave a comment:


  • IBleedMidnightGreen
    replied
    Originally posted by SwAg Dynasty View Post
    I don't know, IBMG because he couldn't find anyone better to investigate (twice)......

    Taylor because I was pro-Town at that point I imagine... Really, I would have been screwed if you guys didn't see them target me and announce it, gave me an out of a claim I couldn't keep up.
    It's not that I couldn't find someone better to investigate. I had a hunch on you, and after I was unable to investigate you, the hunch increased, and then I got your results the night I was raped to death.

    Leave a comment:


  • IBleedMidnightGreen
    replied
    Originally posted by Chg91
    Welcome to WF Mafia, IBMG! You are:

    Charlie Campbell, The Scout, Forum-Aligned

    You are Charlie Campbell, Walterfootball’s closest thing to an actual scout. Typically you evaluate NFL Draft prospects for a living, but you can tell something is afoot in the Walterfootball forums, and you’ve brought your scouting skillz in there. You may PM me the name of one target every night, and if successful you will receive a “scouting report” of that target. For example, if you were to target Chg, and Chg’s role was WDYW, his scouting report would say “Dallas Sports Fanatic, 6000-7000 posts, joined in 2010, undergrad” and stuff like that.

    Win condition: You win when all threats to the Forum have been eliminated

    You may communicate with: No one
    Days that I investigated people, and results:

    Night one;
    Nasmatic Scouting Report:

    -Walterfootball.com Moderator
    -17,000-18,000 posts
    -Joined in February 2009
    -Bay Area resident
    -Undergrad, statistics major
    -Coward

    Night 2:
    Originally posted by whatdoyouwant711
    IBMG: You have successfully scouted The Kaiser. Here is your scouting report:

    The Kaiser:
    - Noob
    - Postwhore Jr.
    - 3000-4000 posts
    - Joined in November 2011
    - 15 years old
    - Really horny
    Night 3:
    Originally posted by whatdoyouwant711
    Your attempt to scout SwAg Dynasty is unsuccessful. You also may not vote in today’s lynch. And your butt really hurts.
    You got lucky, for whatever reason, SwAg. See my night 5 investigation.

    Night 4:
    Originally posted by Chg91
    Your investigations of Sitisfit and miamidolphin4life have failed. Your body is coated in bruises and you’re experiencing emotional trauma. And your butt hurts. You cannot post at all in the Game Thread or Discussion Thread for Day Five or Night Five.
    Night 5:
    Originally posted by Chg91
    You have successfully scouted SwAg Dynasty. Here is your report:

    Swag Dynasty:

    - Mexican
    - Lives in Arizona
    - 16000-17000 posts
    - Joined in August 2009
    - Mafia Mastermind
    You would have been very dead if I hadn't been raped to death. All in all, though, good game, SwAg. I honestly had a small hunch that you weren't town, but it wasn't anything that I had substance behind until I got the investigation result, which I couldn't share because I died.

    Leave a comment:


  • whatdoyouwant711
    replied
    One more thing that deserved to be posted:

    JLash has everything a man can want. Money. Cars. Clothes. Hoes. And recruitment letters, since he’s an athletic freakazoid.

    He’s even the most popular forum member on Walterfootball.com, even though he’s 5x as cool as those nerds.

    He checks his email, and sees a message that appears to have the same intent as the recruitment letters from tOSU, Texas, and Florida. But somehow, it has a different feel to it.

    It’s titled “JOIN US”

    “God, is this a Christrian freak school?” JLash thinks. “Delete.”

    He deletes it, and suddenly it reappears.

    Figuring something must be wrong with the computer, he hits delete once more and it reappears titled “NOTHING IS WRONG WITH YOUR COMPUTER AND THIS MESSAGE WILL CONTINUE TO APPEAR UNTIL YOU READ IT”

    Certifiably terrified at this point, JLash reads it anyway.

    Cicero, we like what we’ve seen from you. Yes, we’ve been watching you. You will join us in our quest. This is not an option. You WILL join us.”

    Though he’s addressed by his Walterfootball username, it’s far from clear where the message came from. The reply address is vague and the sender didn’t say his name.

    Before he can reply, a massive, two-ton hammer levitates into his room. Before he can run, the head of the hammer comes off revealing a portal.

    JLash and all of his electronic equipment are sucked into the vortex, and he fears this is the end. His life suddenly flashes before his eyes, and he doesn’t regret a second of it (well, except when he was totally wasted and hooked up with that fat chick).

    Suddenly, he finds himself in another man’s bedroom. There’s three men in their twenties, all far less attractive than JLash and far less likely to have success in life. They’re all wearing T-Shirts that say “Cherepinsky” on it and all wearing shorts. They all have awful BO, none of them have shaven lately, or even showered. And they’re all sitting in front of the same computer.

    “What up, Cicero?”

    “…. Walter?”

    YOU ARE NO LONGER CICERO, THE INSOMNIAC, FORUM-ALIGNED. YOU ARE:

    Cicero, The Insomniac, Cherepinsky-Aligned

    You’re Cicero, resident insomniac. You’re a nice, respected guy, with one fatal flaw- inability to consistently get requisite amounts of sleep. Being up at the most absurd hours of the night has its advantages, though. It makes you one hell of a stalker. As such, you can pick someone every night to stalk. On odd numbered nights, if successful, you will learn whom this person targeted, if anyone, and on even numbered nights, if successful, you will learn who targeted this person, if anyone. You may not target the same person in consecutive nights.

    One more issue: Your cause. Originally self motivated, you’ve now been recruited by Walter (miamidolphin4life) to aid him, Matt McGuire (PSUShenanigans) and Vbsiena (Vitor) (also converted) in their quest to rid Walterfootball of its terrible posters. You will appear Forum-Aligned in all investigations and even after death up until Vbsiena dies.

    Win condition: You win when Cherepinsky-Aligned players outnumber everyone else.

    You may communicate with: miamidolphin4life, Vitor, PSUShenanigans

    Leave a comment:


  • SwAg Dynasty
    replied
    Originally posted by PSUShenanigans View Post
    Swag why'd you stick ur neck out night 2 on someone random?
    Because I didn't care of the outcome lol

    Originally posted by Leelee View Post
    I think Taylor gave him some info.
    Making a funny

    Originally posted by whatdoyouwant711 View Post
    No. Swag lied about virtually all of the information he received. He was the beneficiary of Nas's ability one night, but that was it. Made everything else up.
    Yeah, I'm a terrible person when it comes to this game.

    Hah! That is great, I accused him in the results I sent him back.

    Leave a comment:


  • Centurion
    replied
    When are you guys going to learn that telling the truth leads to losing in this game?

    Leave a comment:


  • whatdoyouwant711
    replied
    No. Swag lied about virtually all of the information he received. He was the beneficiary of Nas's ability one night, but that was it. Made everything else up.

    Leave a comment:

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