A more relevant and reliable alternative to the Wonderlic Test

[bills_red]

http://sports.yahoo.com/nfl/blog/nfl_experts/post/A-more-relevant-and-reliable-alternative-to-the-?urn=nfl,68390

[49ersfan]

Lol.

[NoNonsenseCoach]

2. Pacman Jones:
C) could probably introduce me to some nice girls.

4. Performance enhancing drugs:more effectively.
D) apparently worked for Rodney Harrison.

5. If you have the football and are running towards the endzone while a defender is chasing you from behind, you should:
C) lateral the ball to an offensive linemen, because they don't get to score very often.
^Not done enough in the NFL. Could possibly increase ratings.

7. Driving drunk:
A) is fun and challenging.
B) is perfectly acceptable if you're a Cincinnati Bengal.
C) doesn't count if you've only been drinking beer.
^Couldn't pick just one :/

8. In the NFL, how many of your feet need to touch the ground in bounds while you are in possession of the football in order for the catch to be valid?
C) Two feet, but if I have a chance to get my third leg involved, I will (that's right, ladies).

9. Strippers are:
D) a reasonable alternative to sexual assault.

11. If an opponent has the ball, and you are standing between him and the endzone, you should:
D) begin digging a moat, and then building a large brick wall at the goal line, because in the long run, that will be more effective at keeping people out of the endzone than just 11 guys running around.

12. When you're sad, you should:
D) understand that it's never, ever, going to get better as long as you're an Oakland Raider.

13. When signing your first contract, you should:
D) try to avoid a contract holdout, unless you want to back up Derek Anderson for the next 4 years.

14. The ideal pregame meal is:
B) scrambled eggs and PCP.
^That would seriously get you pumped for a game. 700 yards rushing at least.

15. True or False: If Emmitt Smith can get a job as an ESPN commentator, then there's no reason that you shouldn't be able to find some kind of gainful employment when your career is over.
TRUE: If Emmitt Smith can be a commentator then I can be a stripper who gets assaulted by Pac Man and collects millions so I don't have to work anymore (even though I'm not really hurt)

16. True or False: When you "make it rain" in a strip club by throwing money at strippers, it is perfectly reasonable to ask for that money back, because strippers are known for giving money back to customers.
FALSE: When yous makin' it rain and sh*t then you betta be usin dem small bills n' sh*t... then bus' a cap on you way out.

17. True or False: If a train leaves Omaha traveling at 50 miles per hour, and travels east for six hours into a 30 mph headwind, Michael Vick is still a jackass.
FALSE: FREE MIKE VICK!

18. True or False: The majority of your practice time should be spent practicing endzone celebrations, because there's nothing an NFL coach appreciates more than the art of dance.
TRUE: William Parcels loves my new dance.

19. True or False: If Matt Millen tells you that you're an excellent football player, it should be taken as a great compliment because he has a very keen eye for these things.
TRUE: He picked up my boy Mike Williams and got good value for him.

20. Essay:

Just write a complete sentence. If you can't do that, just write down a word. Or your name. Try to spell it right. If that's too much, draw a picture of something. Or don't. Honestly, if you do anything other than chew on this portion of the paper, you're goi[the rest of the text was unclear due to teeth marks.]



How did I do? Will this hurt or help my draft stock?

(By the way I thought that whole thing was hilarious.)

[Leo Fender]

Brilliant!

[thetechnocrat]

that was classic!

[Vbsiena]

#12 is my favorite answer

[NoNonsenseCoach]

I would like to see #5 and #11 in the NFL.

[jimmyp]

11. If an opponent has the ball, and you are standing between him and the endzone, you should:
D) begin digging a moat, and then building a large brick wall at the goal line, because in the long run, that will be more effective at keeping people out of the endzone than just 11 guys running around.

Um, this works really well until the quarter ends. Damnit.

[NoNonsenseCoach]

Yep.... didn't think about that one. It might hurt my draft stock.

[Adam Mac]

haha nice I like it..... I do agree what is the point of giving players that test in the first place?