No announcement yet.

theOnion Combine Review

  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • theOnion Combine Review

    Not sure if you guys have seen this.... it is hilarious!
    Except they put Tank Tyler in it, he was drafted by KC last year, wasn't he? Anyway it is still funny.

    February 28, 2008 | Onion Sports

    NFL Combine 2008

    Darren McFadden's 4.33 40 time is the talk of this year's pre-draft workout, but it was far from the only notable moment in Indianapolis last weekend:

    Hawaii QB Colt Brennan completed 17 passes out of the 20 he attempted during the bench press segment

    Michigan QB Chad Henne demonstrated his ability to sing three-part harmony by himself as scouts looked on in consternation and growing horror

    DE Vernon Gholston put in the combine's strongest showing with a 4.6 40 time, five-second cone drill, 48-inch vertical, laser vision, the ability to fuel cars with his urine, and a broad jump from which he has not yet come down

    QB prospect Joe Flacco is being called the next Tom Brady for his chiseled jaw, soulful eyes, tousled hair and roguish grin

    Everyone except Michigan running back Mike Hart finished 40-yard dash this year

    N.C. State defensive lineman Tank Tyler ate the entire pile of Wonderlic tests in under 12 minutes

    Virginia offensive guard Branden Albert just stretched for three days, then left

    OT Ryan Clady goes from underrated to top prospect to bust to underrated again in less than five minutes

    After a one-handed catch, the coaches ranked Virginia Tech's Justin Harper the greatest player of all time

    Louisville's Harry Douglas couldn't understand why every time he took a step, people began writing furiously in their notebooks
    The Gholston one is my favorite by far LOL
    NY Giants fan since birth.

  • #2
    LOL just found another one.... biggest NFL busts of all time!! hahaha this is even funnier!

    For every draft selection that goes on to be a hero for his team, 10 more fade into obscurity. Still others achieve infamy through overhype and underperformance. Onion Sports remembers some of the worst:

    Brett Favre: In his entire career thus far, this second-round pick has not yet blocked a single field-goal attempt

    Sammie Smith: Right after choosing Smith, Dolphins coaches were stunned to learn that this running back completely lacked professional experience and had never actually played in an NFL game in his life

    Lawrence Phillips: The St. Louis Rams knew he would be trouble on draft day when, as his name was being announced by Commissioner Tagliabue, Phillips was beating his girlfriend instead of paying attention to the selections

    Terrell Owens: Despite occasional drops, he was not so much a bust for the 49ers football-wise, but in terms of being a normal human being with decent comportment and adequate human compassion, he has certainly not panned out the way his mother probably would have intended

    Eli Manning: Drafted first overall by San Diego in 2004, Manning has yet to play one single game as a Charger

    Keith McCants: Left Tampa Bay Buccaneers scrambling to recover at the 1990 draft when McCants, a No. 4 pick, retired immediately after his selection, saying he just wanted to see how high he'd be drafted

    Tony Mandarich: This college-standout offensive tackle was selected by the Packers in the 1989 draft ahead of Barry Sanders, Derrick Thomas, Deion Sanders, Eric Metcalf, Andre Rison, Steve Atwater, and the entire starting lineup of the 1993 NFL Champion Dallas Cowboys

    Joe Montana: Selected by San Francisco with the 82nd overall pick of the 1979 draft, the 49ers expected Montana to be a solid second-string quarterback, but he disappointed everyone by winning four Super Bowls, two MVPs, and becoming one of the greatest football players of all time
    NY Giants fan since birth.


    • #3
      Hahah I'll draft Gholston in a heartbeat just for the fuel perks!


      • #4
        Eli Manning is my favorite bust.


        • #5
          That just made me laugh out loud at my desk.


          • #6
            Originally posted by NoNonsenseCoach View Post
            Hahah I'll draft Gholston in a heartbeat just for the fuel perks!
            Vernon Gholston's urine is the answer to record oil prices and failing fossil fuel reserves.


            • #7
              Forgive me I'm Swedish!


              • #8
                The Onion has been consistently great for many years.
                Jacksonville Jaguars GM

                2008 Mock Draft Selections:

                Round 1, (26) Aqib Talib, CB, Kansas
                Round 2, (58) Roy Schuening,G, Oregon State
                Round 3, (71) Eddie Royal, WR/KR, Virginia Tech
                Round 3, (89) Ray Rice, RB, Rutgers
                Round 4, (125) Barry Richardson, OT, Clemson
                Round 5, (147) Tommy Blake, DE, TCU
                Round 5, (158) Andre Fluellen, DT, Florida State
                Round 5, (159) Erik Ainge, QB, Tennessee